Kinky Fetishes

Hello Prof, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me. I wanted to discuss my grades this semester. See, so far I’m not very happy with them. Yes, I know I’ve missed a few lectures here and there, but you see that’s because I’ve been working on a project of my own. A little… well ‘shrink ray’ sounds a bit too unlikely, but essentially it captures what my gadget does. It ignores that messy little conservation of mass issue and shrinks you right down. Oh, did I say you? Well, it doesn’t have to be you. In fact, it’d almost be a pity to shrink you sir, since I haven’t figured out how to reverse the process yet. Anyway, about that A was wanting for the final…