Recently, I was looking back on the days when white people were still enjoying their unearned privilege, and saying dumb idoms like “work smarter, not harder” and “fail fast”. Even though it’s only been a few years since China took over your status as “World Superpower”, white people sure moved down the ladder fast! China’s state researchers harnessed our superior technology to shrink all whites to their appropriate size…and now you all look like our staple food: RICE! Hahahaha! But seriously, white people are just so naturally lazy, that’s why they sucked at all details oriented jobs like engineering, construction, and anything in the medical field. To get you to be useful at all, we had to shrink you down to size so that detail tasks would be much easier for your pea brains. Now, I own you and your entire tiny white family and use you all to keep Me looking sparkling and fresh. For example, today, My electrical toothbrush ran out of batteries, so I’m getting you up EXTRA early to clean My teeth, massage My gums, and even exfoliate My perfect pouty lips. Such a luxurious job for a lowly whitie like you! And I know you’ll work as hard as you can against your kind’s lazy disposition, because if you don’t…you know where you’ll end up. That’s right! I’ll sell your ass to a Chinese restaurant and you’ll be ground into a paste and made into a delicious delicacy for us to enjoy. Now get to work, because I won’t think twice to put your entire family all in one bowl, pour tofu and eggplant all over you, and watch you squirm as squeeze you between My chopsticks.